A few weeks ago a friend of mine died. He was 89 but I’d still call him “friend”. He was even more than that. A mentor, a person that knew me well and saw me grow. I have been lucky to have known all of my four grandparents and I spent a great amount of time with them. I like to think of my “friend” as the fifth grand parent.
His death triggered a bunch of reflections. People that I considered my pillars are going away. Slowly, but still going away. I still have many pillars, My parents, my in-laws, my wife. And yet I’d not mind a chat with the pillars that are not with me anymore. Just one more chat.
What’s uncomfortable is that I am becoming a pillar myself. For my wife, for my kids, for my parents. It’s uncomfortable because I don’t see myself as a pillar. And yet, somebody leans on me, more and more often. I confess I felt better when I wasn’t having these reflections, when I wasn’t aware of becoming a pillar.
If my “friend” were still around I’d ask him the secret of being a good pillar. And I fear his answer would be … leaning on me.